FundRobot » Child Investment Accounts » Choosing a career I don't like to please my family?

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Old   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default choosing a career i don't like to please my family

It's a long story, but I've been going to school for the last few years to be a teacher...mostly because that's what my family wanted me to be. I despise my major, but I've been jumping through all of the hoops, getting high marks, recommendations from my professors, and trying to convince myself that I like it (with little success). Now I'm student teaching, working hard and doing my best even though I hate it. To make things worse, my dad keeps telling me how proud he is that his daughter is going to be a teacher. I don't know what to do now. I love kids, but I couldn't stand school as a child and I hate it even more now that I have seen what goes on behind the scenes. I've always had a different passion in mind that could land me in a fair amount of money---not fabulous wealth, but enough for me to live off of, put away, and have some mad money once in a while.

I'm finishing the major, but after that, I'm completely lost. It's either go into a career I don't like for financial security and to please my family, or go my own way and be the great disappointment. Either path will have a lot of regret. What are your thoughts?
Melvie, as helpful and insightful as the post is, I must make one thing clear: I would NEVER hate my family under ANY circumstance. I only have fear of disappointing them. I can take someone criticizing--even hating me--but the thought of disappointing my family cuts very deep.

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Old   #2 (permalink)
 
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Default choosing a career i don't like to please my family

Which is more important? Your happiness, or your family's? I think your family would get over it before you will.
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Old   #3 (permalink)
 
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Default choosing a career i don't like to please my family

It's not your parent's life, If you want to do something else in my opinion. Just go for it, otherwise you'll just be Unhappy for the rest of your life. Anyway everything in life will leave behind regrets but that's going to happen regardless of everything else. Life is life, You only get one shot, don't waste it chasing your parents dreams for you. Use it to do what you want to do.
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Old   #4 (permalink)
 
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Default choosing a career i don't like to please my family

If you can't see that working in a career that you hate is unwise, you certainly shouldn't be teaching anybody else anything. It's not your family's decisions, it's yours. You need to come clean with your family and unburden yourself.
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Old   #5 (permalink)
 
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Default choosing a career i don't like to please my family

Think of this in a different perspective for a second: your career is going to be your life. If you dislike or hate your work, then by extension you are going to hate your life. And to take it further, you will hate yourself, and then your parents for putting you in such a position where you ended up hating your career, your life and yourself.

Now if we look at things that way, do you really believe you are doing your parents a service by pursuing a career that you know will result in such a negative view of yourself as well as your family?

You need to put a stop to this at once. You are an adult now and need to think and act like one. And that means standing up for yourself. So take the steps necessary to pursue the career and profession you truly desire. Your parents may not understand your selection, but they will probably be far more pleased knowing you are happy with your career and your work than if you were doing something you dislike. And by doing so you will cease making them the scapegoats for your unwillingness to step out on your own.
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Old   #6 (permalink)
 
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Default choosing a career i don't like to please my family

Dani - I have been where you are. You will find many others have hit the situation you described.

Parents often give career input steering their kids towards a career that is one:

1. They wanted to have themselves but that were unable to arrange financially or educationally.
2. That gives you the financial security they never had.
3. That is something they would be proud to tell others about.
4. Sometimes it is about all of the above...

Often times they will not consider what you are gifted at or what you feel is your calling. They may feel justified and entitled to give you their career input because they are helping to fund your education or just because they have greater life experience,

Unfortunately, you are at least partially to blame for the situation where you are now because up until now you have not had the painful discussion where you tell them that you are not going to be a teacher after all. That discussion is going to be something that has been too long postponed but is going to have to happen soon.

Before you have this discussion you need to have already obtained an offer of employment in this other area which you have not revealed in your question. If you have the discussion with parents and you have no concrete plans they are going to panic and it will make this discussion much more difficult. Also, your plan will need to sound plausible and well thought out. If you are planning to be the next great singer or actor or something like that you will be met with a blank stare.

Best wishes!
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